Starting tonight!

tonight we are trying to get lillyan to sleep in her own room! so far she has been in her bassinet next to our bed, easy to get to and fast to sooth. now she is down the hall and the monitor is our only way of hearing her. it's a little scary for me, and i doubt I'll sleep! seeing how i am in her room in the rocking chair typing this! haha. i think alot of it is that i am trying to let Andy get as much sleep as he can! he is after all the bread winner, and i need him to be at this best! he drives truck, so it is important that he can sleep well, and be fully rested so he doesn't get drowsy! i want him to come home every night!

I love our new little family! and it will be even better when we can be out on our own, and not a burden on my parents anymore! and it is happening soon! like as in March! we are moving back to the little house in spanish fork! Andy's dad got a job and they will be moving out! so we are taking over the space! I can't wait! I'm super excited to actually get to paint and decorate a room for Lillyan! I'm torn on the colors. However, pink is a giving. I want green, but i also want brown. Andy's mom made this amazing blanket for a crib that is pink and green and fuzzy and awesome. I also have a blanket that is beautiful from my moms good friend that is pink and brown! i think i just have to decided which one I'm going to my design around.

I'm sure I've already said this, but I'm so happy to be a mom! She has grown so much in the last month i can't even believe it! She is so strong and so smart! we have started to call her squeaky, and our little monkey! she makes little sounds like Aboo off Aladdin! haha she is so cute! and getting so chunkers!

 I have been worried about her the last couple of days. Every time she eats she cries for a good 30 mins after. i don't know if it's all bubbles, or if there is something wrong with my milk, or I'm eating the wrong things. i just worry. I've been using a nipple shield, she has a hard time latching, but tonight I fed her with out it and had the same after math from free boobin as i did with the shield! ahhh... I'm just at a loss as far as that goes! i guess i will just have to ask the doctor when i go for her two month appointment, as long as i can make it that long! i guess if it doesn't get better I'll go in before then! or call.

I am so in love with my baby girl! she is a miracle! i want more kids someday, but today I'm grateful  for the little girl who was sent into our lives. I just hope i don't mess her up to bad! She is everything to me, we are so lucky! She was born on the first day of December, at 6:55am after many hours of labor! She was 7lbs 11oz of pure madsen! she looks just like her daddy! and it's a good thing he's cute! She has this little button nose, brown hair, and brown eyes. and i already miss her! haha i know that sounds funny! but she is getting so big! I want to take a picture of her every second just so i don't miss anything! I blinked and she has already out grown her new born cloths!

I'm so thankful for my amazing husband! he is such a great man, and my best friend. I know the best friend thing is used and abused when it comes to women talking about their husbands. But, i mean it! I can't dream of doing this with anyone else! he is amazing I'm grateful for all that we have, and all that we will have in the future! more kids or not!

I am also so grateful to my father in heaven! He is my rock, I'm so grateful that i have been giving this perfect little soul to teach that gospel! I am even more grateful for the atonement of Christ then I ever have been! Not only did Jesus suffer for our sins, but God gave his son! i understand more than ever how hard that must have been. I loved my little girl from the moment I found out she was growing! I know that my father in heaven is real, He knows me, and gave me my little Lilly, because it was my hearts deepest wish! and he knows whats in my heart more than anyone! I know that if I'm faithful to him and to my faith that he will help me take care of my wish! I pray that she will grow strong and healthy, and have a happy life! I hope she loves God and Jesus! I hope she is kind and loves her family! I hope i can teach her these things and be a good example! Starting now.

It's food time for baby girl, so i guess I'll leave the rest of my ranting for another day!