BREAK DOWN

All i can do is try to keep it together. I just can't handle this sometime, my friend had her baby today, and tomorrow another one of my friends is going to be induced tomorrow. i just can't do it! i can't watch all these people around me popping out babies and me not even be able to get prego. i love my friends and i love that they are happy and making... i just can't... i just can't!!!! i need my baby!!!!

all good... equals all bad

i got my progesterone level test back, everything is good, it's a little on the low end, but i am ovulating, and that is good. that bad thing about that is that everything is normal, and nothing is working. at least as far as we know on my end. andy still doesn't have health insurance so we can't even start to test him, so they are going off last years labs. ahhh... i wish that all this baby stuff was free!  the government should want us to have as many babies as we can. number one, we can beat out china in a my army is bigger then your army, and we can get more of them, number two more people to tax later in life and three people are happier when they have a baby. ok WE will be happier when WE get our baby!  to day i saw a girl i went to high school with at a clothing store, she has an amazing baby girl! and she is so beautiful. anyway, she was like where is your baby! and i was like, oh, i don't have one. she just looked at me and said oh, i though you did because you make all those baby hats. and all i could say is nope i sell them. But what i really wanted to say was nope just a making hats for a baby i feel like i'm never going to get because people like you can just pop them out when ever you dang well please, and i've been trying for the majority of my married life with not even so much as a miscarriage. so thanks for reminding me that me and my hubby still don't have a baby and i am just some crazy crocheting little hats in the hopes that one day one with just drop into my vajaja and we will live happily ever after! ahhhh see you at the reunion with your ten kids! i'll bring my dog!
so long story short, still don't have a baby, people still bug me, and i hate shopping because i see people i know and they ask me where my kids are!!!!

Answers

This week has been a great/trying week! I went to the doctor, had tones of blood work, and they all came back and they are normal. I had and ultra sounds, and it was clean. No more PCOS. and yesterday I had more blood work for my progesterone levels. we just need some answers so that we can have a baby. i see all my friends some of them on there second babies and i get to jealous, knowing that we've been trying for so long with no luck. ahh. i get so angry sometimes. I need to have a better out look and just pray for the best! i just need more answers than i'm getting, and when i get them i'd like to have the money to fix them! so andy is looking for a new and better job, and i'm looking for anything that will pay me enough to save at least half!! living pay check to pay check is not going to work out anymore. fertility treatments are expensive and painful. i need a job that is less labor intensive and pays more... haha if such a job is out there. well if your a reader please pray for us, and if you have any advice please comment and let me know! i'm up for anything!